...but I guess I'd chime in with my perspective. Cassie's been a trooper through all of it and hasn't called on me to do a whole lot that I normally didn't do before the news broke. Sure, I have to lift more things and scoop the litter box more frequently, but it hasn't been the roller coaster of emotions and frequent trips to the grocery store that I anticipated. I was expecting her to be laughing one second and then break a beer bottle over my head the next when I looked at her funny for demanding I make her an anchovy-jalapeno jello mold. Thankfully, none of that has happened. Yet.
People often ask me if I'm ready. My reply has been "Yes? No...?", mostly because I haven't read enough to really know what I should be ready for. And of the very little that I have read, I've taken away one thing: there is nothing in your life that will prepare you for having a child. I'm not sure I'm getting it right, but it seems that parenthood as a wonderful type of hell in which you never sleep and derive an inordinate amount of joy from merely being a slave to a 10-pound poop machine. That joy seems to fuel you through those sleepless nights and countless runs to the baby store for more baby things. I've never subsisted on joy alone, so am I ready? The answer is a resounding no.
I'm fairly certain I'll never be ready, but everyone who has a child seems to think that we'll figure it out as we go and that there's no need to worry. Of course, they follow it up with, "Now if you're gonna know one thing..." and that's where I've been zoning out for whatever reason. About the only advice that I've taken to heart is some quote (which may be famous?) by some dude (who may also be famous, but whose identity escapes me) that goes along the lines of "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." I can do that.
On the more superficial level, I've packed on about 10-15 pounds of sympathy weight so far, but I'm going to make an effort to take that off before Parker gets here. Once upon a time, I made a goal to weigh less than her at some point, but it's looking pretty unlikely. I have been getting on the old stationary bike in the morning and I'm starting to realize there's a reason we sleep in a bed and not on a bike. It's just so much cozier in bed, so... that whole exercise in the morning thing will probably come to an end soon.
Anyways, Cassie was sitting on the couch the other day while we were watching TV and she was just watching Parker do his thing. She said, "It's so weird having something in your body just moving around and having no control over it.
And I said, "Now you know what it's like to have a penis."
Then Hank said, "Now you know what it's like to have a tail."
Then Stripes said, "Now you know what it's like to SHUT UP. Where's my food?" So we sat in silence for awhile.
People often ask me if I'm ready. My reply has been "Yes? No...?", mostly because I haven't read enough to really know what I should be ready for. And of the very little that I have read, I've taken away one thing: there is nothing in your life that will prepare you for having a child. I'm not sure I'm getting it right, but it seems that parenthood as a wonderful type of hell in which you never sleep and derive an inordinate amount of joy from merely being a slave to a 10-pound poop machine. That joy seems to fuel you through those sleepless nights and countless runs to the baby store for more baby things. I've never subsisted on joy alone, so am I ready? The answer is a resounding no.
I'm fairly certain I'll never be ready, but everyone who has a child seems to think that we'll figure it out as we go and that there's no need to worry. Of course, they follow it up with, "Now if you're gonna know one thing..." and that's where I've been zoning out for whatever reason. About the only advice that I've taken to heart is some quote (which may be famous?) by some dude (who may also be famous, but whose identity escapes me) that goes along the lines of "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." I can do that.
On the more superficial level, I've packed on about 10-15 pounds of sympathy weight so far, but I'm going to make an effort to take that off before Parker gets here. Once upon a time, I made a goal to weigh less than her at some point, but it's looking pretty unlikely. I have been getting on the old stationary bike in the morning and I'm starting to realize there's a reason we sleep in a bed and not on a bike. It's just so much cozier in bed, so... that whole exercise in the morning thing will probably come to an end soon.
Anyways, Cassie was sitting on the couch the other day while we were watching TV and she was just watching Parker do his thing. She said, "It's so weird having something in your body just moving around and having no control over it.
And I said, "Now you know what it's like to have a penis."
Then Hank said, "Now you know what it's like to have a tail."
Then Stripes said, "Now you know what it's like to SHUT UP. Where's my food?" So we sat in silence for awhile.
Nice to have the male perspective on the upcoming arrival of baby Parker :) Aron, I hope that at least 7 pounds of the sympathy weight is just a solid block of Arbys.
ReplyDeleteYup, 10 pounds of Arby's and rising fast.
ReplyDeleteThe last part of this entry still cracks me up!!! I lol'ed.
ReplyDeleteOMG the comparisons crack me up! I can't wait to meet this baby boy!
ReplyDeletehahahaha I love this!
ReplyDelete